Yesterday, the LA Times ran a piece about the risks of ART (Assisted Reproductive Technology). It said that babies conceived through ART were twice as likely to suffer placental abnormalities, twice as likely to be born prematurely, and were at increased risk of congenital birth defects. The piece talked about the danger to the mother of multiple births and listed some mind-blowing statistics. 45% of pregnancies conceived through ART resulted in twins and 7% in triplets or more! People, we have a problem here.
But for me, the most shocking finding (and my big Aha! moment) was the potential for genetic changes in the embryo in the laboratory, which might contribute to a variety of childhood cancers. That is something I definitely wouldn’t want on my conscience.
So I expected to feel vindicated by this report. “See! I told you so! I knew this wasn’t a good idea.” But I didn’t feel that way at all. I felt sad that yet another door had been firmly closed.
In the very early stages of our plans to become parents, Jose made a decision that ART would not be an option we would take. Even without scientific evidence, everything about it felt wrong for us. Based on gut feeling alone, we made that decision. Even after ART became our only chance for us to have a child with a biological connection, we stuck to our guns. It wasn’t an easy choice to make and truth be told, it’s always been a little leaky for me. There has always been that little voice in the farthest corner of my mind saying, “Yes, but why should you be so high and mighty. Thousands of other women have done it and they’re all ok. Why deprive yourself of what you want because of some moral high ground you choose to stand on.”
I usually manage to shut the voice up, but it never really goes away and every now and then I’ll listen to it and think, “What if…What if we tried it, just once? What if it worked? What if I was wrong? What if everything turned out just fine?”
Now, after reading this report, all I can think is, “What if my baby was sick? What if something happened because of the decision I made.”
Slam! That door closes once and for all.
The problem is, there’s still a little chink of light glimmering underneath that door. No matter what I do, it’s always going to be there, reminding me of the what-ifs.
You can read the full LA Times piece here:
Fertility treatments balance risk and reward
Adela, as I picture her in my imagination
About Me
- Lisa
- Lisa Manterfield is a freelance writer whose work has appeared in print in Los Angeles Times Magazine, on stage at LA’s Powerhouse Theatre, and online in her monthly column at Mad As Hell Club. She is currently working on a memoir entitled, I’m Taking My Eggs and Going Home: How One Woman Dared to Say No to Motherhood.
4 comments:
Lisa, you capture so well a really big conflict. Although I have three children, born "naturally," and can't REALLY empathize with the difficulty of that decision, because one of my children is disabled I grapple with notions of "control" all the time. I hope that you can throw all caution to the wind and just listen to what is right -- for you and your husband. I feel strongly that our intuition is always "correct," and if you allow yourself to be guided by it, you won't be wrong!
WOW! That is incredibly disturbing. I've had several friends go through painful fertility treatments for miracle babies, and it's terrifying to think they could develop serious health problems later in life. Listen to your gut!
Elizabeth, Anonymous,
Thank you for your comments. Yes, we always seem to be fighting for control, don't we? From trying to control the growing mound of laundry to guiding our fates. And yes, sometimes you have to just give yourself over to your instincts. It's hard to hear your intuition with all the outside racket sometimes. :-)
Thanks for your encouragement.
fact of the matter is that we don't have any control over any of this. even naturally conceived children suffer from genetical diseases or arrive prematurely. so there's no point of beating yourself up over eventualities. my brother has gouts and both of us are prone to thyroid problems - both conditions thanks to our genetical make-up. and yet, both of us were conceived naturally. get my point?
besides, none of the half dozen ART-produced kids i know, have ever had any health problems. so don't feel guilty of exploring all the possibilities :)
Post a Comment